Still missing him,

February 7 2007 was the worst nightmare of my life..

Rainier died because of motor accident in Minuyan, 3pm.

That incident was still fresh in my mind. Everytime I'm alone, I still remember that tragic incident.

Feb. 6 2007, when I was walking home from school, he saw me then greeted me, but I didn't look at him or even greet him back. Because, we had this misunderstanding.
I was full of regrets up to now. I just can't accept the fact that I didn't saw his last smiles, and face for the last time:(

That night, I've dreamed about us. We were riding his motor then, he keeps on convincing me to come with him. Then I saw him pointing in a huge gate, a very bright gate. I can't even see it. Then I refused to go with him. He then leaved me outside the gate. But he didn't leaved me with anger in his face, but with sweet smiles. I cried when I saw him entering the gate. When I woke up the next morning, I just ignored that dream.

Here's the sad story,

He and his friends are riding their motor cycles, then a mysterious man with a helmet and also riding a motor, dared him to race. Since he's not that patient, he dealed with that man. Then, some of his friends told me that, while they were racing, the man kicked his motor that's why na out of balanced sya and bumangga ang motor sa isang tree and falled into a cliff.

Feb 7 2007, 7pm. I was surprised when his friends picked me up and told me that he was in the hospital. When I was in the car together with my mom and grandpa, I was praying that sana, he was fine. But when I got to the hospital, one of his friends told me that "He is still waiting for you". So I thought that he is fine, but when I heared his family crying inside the room, my tears fell down to my cheeks. I saw him in the hospital fighting for his life. His pants are full of blood, I hold his hand, and told him that I'm here. Then after a minute, he passed away. He just waited me to come.

His friend, JR told me that when Rainier was brought to the hospital, he was calling for my name. Searching for me, longing for me to come:(

I was depressed for almost 2 years. Crying when I'm alone, I find my self pity. I can't barely eat nor drink. Then one night I've dreamed about him. He told me that he love me so much, and he will still protect me. When I woke up, my cheeks are full of tears. Then my mom told me that, I should accept that he is gone.

I admit. It's really hard to forget or to moved on when you are totally hurt, and broken. I keep my myself busy with school activities, and online gaming. Everytime that I remembered the times that we were happy together, laughing at each other, and strolling with him, napapangiti nalang ako, but with sadness.


I still misses him....

and I will always remember him:')